Being a nerd & lurking on anime forums on a Friday night. Haha. Oh geeeez.

Dear Facebook,

Can you please stop stalking me by posting up my "Recent Activities" & what I wrote on my friend's walls? Also, what is up with your "See Friendship" feature?? Why are you making it easier for my creepers to stalk me by showing my connections to my friends? & this newer version you got going on here has me all discombobulated. You used to be so endearing. What happened?

</3,

Me

Man parts.

So my mom's BF, while looking under our car's hood, said that he needed to get some of his tools. My mom's response? "I may be a woman but I have man parts!" She meant men's tools. -___-

Dark hallways & closed bedroom doors are never a good mix.

Goodbye, November. Hello, December.

If you don't go after what you want, you'll never have it. If you don't ask, the answer's always no. If you don't step forward, you're always in the same place.

Had a great Thanksgiving. Volunteered at a soup kitchen downtown by helping to serve food to the homeless with Sabrina & Agnes & topped it all off with good food & even greater company. :) God is good.

It is nearly the end of the semester. And also, my sanity.

I am in need of a running partner. Veteran runners & quitters need not apply. If you are interested, please lmk. :)

Dear Monday,

Thanks for having the word "mon" in you. That's French for "mine", in case you weren't aware. Monday. It makes me think of you more as "my day", & frankly that sounds like a much more promising start of the week.

<3,
Me



Coming out of my shell.

Had a fun time last night. Finally came out from under my shell & saw a bunch of people I haven't seen in FOREVER. TKO + QBall + Denny's + Sherwin's Sexy Camera = Tons of laughter. Can't wait to go to the Jax Fair tonight with my favorite peoples. Two words: Funnel Cake.

Nekkkiiiddd.

Procrastination is kicking my butt. Maybe I should learn from my man, Victor Hugo. It was said that he would write naked & tell his valet to hide his clothes so that he would be unable to go outside when he was supposed to be writing. Er.. I think I'll just take off my sweater for now.

Time machine?

Using a microwave as a clock is the worse. I took a bag of popcorn out early & thought it was 1:31 for two days.

Evil care plans.

Ugh. Care plans. Why are you SO evil?! Do you not care that it's already 1 in the morning & that I have to wake up in 4 hours for clinicals? I mean seriously, I just had to get another patient with a gazillion medications. & now I have to take a break & run to Wal-Mart because nursing school has used up all of my computer paper AND ink. So now you're costing me $60+ just to print?! Just killmenow.

Combo breaker.

Study, study, study. Where's my combo breaker!?

Thinking outside the slanted box.

I like to think outside the quadrilateral parallelogram.

Soul food.

Dropped off my sister at Randolph for her Saturday school & figured I'd hit up my GPS for some food places. My results? Church's Chicken, Mary Ann's Fried Chicken, Adella Soul Food, Aunt Tille's Soul Food, Chicken Koop, Popeye's, & KFC. Yup. I'm definitely in the northside.

Supply & demand.

It's a lot easier to be lost than found. It's the reason we're always searching & rarely discovered; so many locks, not enough keys.

Why fix it if it's not broken?

Some people, they can't just move on, you know, mourn & cry & be done with it. Or at least seem to be. But for me...I don't know. I didn't want to fix it, to forget it. It wasn't something that was broken. It's just...something that happened. & like that hole, I'm just finding ways, every day, of working around it. Respecting & remembering & getting on at the same time.

Dear homework,

Do yourself.

Thanks,
A burned-out student

Chasing pavements.

Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements?

Guess what? Chicken butt.

Something I never thought I'd google: "How do you get the plastic out of a chicken's butt?" True story.

Butt dialing.

Just did some rough housing with Jenny & her butt accidentally dialed & left a message on someone's voicemail. So now when they listen to their message they'll hear words like "Boobies! Boobies!", "Ow my hair! My hair!" & "Sweaty hand power!!"

Prince charming.

I asked my 8-year-old brother what he wanted to be when he got older & he replied, "I wanna be prince charming.”

Distance.

Distance is not for the fearful, it is for the bold. It is for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with the one they love. It is for those knowing a good thing when they see it, even if they don't see it nearly enough.

Powerful words.

While reading a book by James Frey, a certain line caught my eye: "If you care about what other people think, you will always be their prisoner." Powerful words.

It's okay. I still love you.

Sometimes, we want to say this to someone: "You suck. You're an insensitive, inconsiderate, selfish, cruel, thoughtless mean person who doesn't deserve to be cared for by a person like me. I wish you could just disappear, so you couldn't hurt me anymore!" But when we open our mouth to say it, it comes out a little softer like: "It's okay. I still love you."

I’m sick of following my dreams. I’m just going to ask them where they’re goin’, & hook up with them later.

On love.

My perceptions on love feel a bit skewed. I try to be realistic, but I’m also a hopeless romantic & I will always have newfound hope for something better waiting around the corner.

All things come to an end. Whether it be through the fickleness of teenagers, or slipping into the depths of old age. But this is especially within teenagers. When 15 year olds turn to each other after going out for one day & profess their undying love for each other, it makes me sick. It trivializes love, it makes it silly, a passing fad. “I’ll be with you forever”, & then they’ve broken up in a week’s time. It may be a bit harsh to judge all teenagers like this, because it’s not like I haven’t ever been overcome with infatuation. But I’m talking about when it happens in the extreme sense. Anyone has enough sense to know that saying “I love you” to someone you’ve been with for about 3 seconds is a lie. I don’t know whether it’s for the sake of the other person, a way to convince them that their enterprise is honest & true, or if it’s just one massive trend that affects every teenager, that makes them feel accepted or that they belong. It pisses me off nonetheless.

I don’t think I ever have loved someone besides immediate family & 1-2 friends. I don’t think I will know what love is until I’m much older. Sure, there’s that 3% who experience genuine love in a romantic relationship during their teen years. But that’s 3%. Who’s to say you’re special enough to be in that 3%?

Things always come to an end. It’s just a matter of when, & enjoying it while it lasts.

The air you breathe.

I would like to be the air that inhabits you for a moment only. I would like to be that unnoticed & that necessary.

Trust your heart. Trust your story.

Personal.

I know that people aren’t interested in my personal life. Which is why this is what it is - personal. For nobody else but me. In doing so, I don’t have to be verbose. I don’t have to keep up the pretense of being wordy & intelligent & politically correct. I don’t have to worry about the possibility of offending someone or what people think.

I try to refrain from posting overly sentimental, personal things on the internet. My Twitter, my blog, my Facebook have all been infiltrated by the people I know in person. And it sucks. Because sometimes all I want to do is crack open a pink flower infested journal & write “Dear Diary, today sucked."

BC is BS.

After spending 20 minutes on the phone with a my insurance company, I FINALLY get to the right department:

Automated Voice: Please tell me your ID number.
Me: ##### *Sneeze* ##.
Automated Voice: We're sorry. We could not find anyone by that ID #. Thank you for calling BCBS. Goodbye.

Me: ..... Mother F#&*$&$*!

Double-edged comfort.

My thoughts tend to sound better in books I didn't write & in the songs I didn't sing. Even then sometimes there is no piece of literature, no song, no work of art that can really explain the way you feel. There is a double-edge comfort in knowing that no one really knows.

Commitments.

Well I did it. I committed. I've thought about it for a while & decided it was time.

I've finally entered a restaurant’s phone # in my cell. I got tired of looking it up so this time when the phone prompted me to add it to my contacts, I did. Congratulations Korean BBQ. You've won this round. God save you if they ever open up any In-N-Out’s here in the east coast. I'll delete you faster than the "I <3 you" virus.

Hello delirium.

I have been awake for 20 hours & 18 minutes. Kill. Me. I'm trying to get my sleep schedule back on track by wearing myself out to the bone. I am tired. I am hungry. I am dizzy. Hello delirium. Hello writing a blog that make no sense. 20 hours & 19 minutes. I'm insane.

Reason #2857

Reason #2857 Why I Miss California: 3 words - Carne Asada Fries.

Lady Gaga.

Love is about danger, always. Love jumps off cliffs, love is irrational. It keeps you alive & it destroys you. The search for love provides nourishment for your artistic soul. I’m afraid that as soon as you really find love, there won’t be anything left to write songs about.

- Lady Gaga

World of Nations.

Me: Mom, I'm going to take you to the Philippines this wknd for your bday.
Mom: *Gasp* Really!?
Me: Yes. & then after we'll go to Korea & Jamaica! All in the same day!
Mom: How is that possible!?
Me: Because Mom, I just love you THAT much.
Sister: Mom, she's talking about World of Nations.

Whatever. I thought I was being brilliant. Can't wait to go to WON this wknd! I only want to go for the food!

A poet in the making.

Arguably, I think most writers use their soul to wield their craft. That’s where the poetry lies. Dormant but ready to bloom. You stare long & hard enough at the moon, or the ocean, & your soul will reach, expand & make a poet out of you.

Bullshit.

Lately I've realized that all I really need is somebody who will listen to my bullshit, call me out on my bullshit, & love me despite my bullshit.

I guess that is what best friends are for. :)

Distance.

Distance: to go the or keep my?

The Sypmosium

According to Greek mythology, humans were originally created with 4 arms, 4 legs, & a head with 2 faces. Fearing their power, Zeus split them into two separate parts, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves.

- Plato's "The Sypmosium"

Love-hate relationship.

I am in serious need of a workout partner. One that will verbally abuse me by saying things like, "Keep running you fat ass!" or "My great grandmother can lift heavier weights than you." Nice stuff like that. One that will not cave into my creative BS to get out of working out. If you think you are the right person for this job, please contact me. I will love you forever. Well, after I hate you first.

Monsters, Inc.

I am so romantic sometimes. I think I should marry myself. - Monsters, Inc.

Dear Rich, Gorgeous, Future Self,

I hate to bother you. I know you’re probably on your way out the door right now, off to a vaguely important meeting in a high-rise somewhere in Manhattan, Beijing, Tokyo, Moscow, or Abu Dhabi. Or maybe you’re backstage at a hip, hole-in-the-wall bar, about to perform a setlist of cult favorites that have become synonymous with your name. I guess you could just be checking your email.

Whatever it is I’ve interrupted, I’m sorry, but I have a few questions that I need answered. Well, that I needed answered. You’re a little late now, but you always have been a notorious procrastinator.

I need to know, where do I go in life? You have to tell me, how do we do it? Do I need to learn how to tie the perfect Windsor knot & invest in a good attaché case, or should I start putting some money away for a new guitar & start penning some heart-wrenching, semi-allegorical lyrics? I know where it looks like I’m headed, but life is nothing if not unpredictable.

Well, anyway, I think I’m rambling now & I know your time is a valuable commodity nowadays. Please respond as soon as you can.

Yours Fate-fully,
R

Worms.

#9874 Reason Why I love my biffle:

Random texts at 12 in the morning stating that she can't stop eating worms.

Fly birdy, fly.

I always wondered why birds choose to stay in the same place when they can fly anywhere on the earth; then I ask myself the same question.

Do you feel that?

It’s your dreams being crushed under the weight of all the pressures of life. Your job, your family, your relationships, your car payments, the power bill that’s late - it’s all pressing down on you, weighing you down & you can’t move.

You can’t.
You've been in relationships where they want more than you’re willing to give, your mother has unrealistic expectations about your future & you’re struggling to breathe, like you’re underwater & unable to come up for a breath… So swim.

Swim toward the light, to the gap that’s just big enough for you to fit through, & once you’re through, make your own path. Forge ahead. It’s easier than you think. Because the goals you have for yourself, the things that you really want to do are obtainable. Goals, the destination of a journey can be yours, but you’re going to have to work for it. I’m going to have to work hard to get what I want, but I will not stop until I get it. Finally, after all these years I’ve got clear definable goals, & I can see the path, laid out before me that leads to what I want. All I have to have is the guts to take that path.

I’ve written about this before, in many iterations, but that’s only because it’s so true. & yeah, there are a lot of you reading this, & if I can do one thing here on this public forum, I hope it’s to help inspire people to go after their dreams. Because a life without dreams is no life at all. Get after it. If I’ve learned one thing recently, it’s that it ain’t coming to you. You’ve got to go & get it.

Just a friendly visit.

An old friend made a surprise visit to the clinic I work at today & I almost bearhugged & tackled her in glee. I say "almost" because I decided to maintain what little known decorum I have left at work & instead offered her enthusiastic high-tens.

Seeing her again after so long made me realize the value of all my relationships, & made me realise how dysfunctional I would be without the little exchanges of laughter & soul between ourselves in the air.

I have very few favorite people in this world. Knowing that they/we won't all be here forever makes me want to bearhug & tackle them all into the ground with so much asteroidal force & permanence that palaeontologists have to excavate our entwined fossils.

Hanging on a string.

I feel like I'm in some kind of limbo. Like my heart hanging from a string & all the helium slowly exhaling out. Not knowing which direction to float.

Taking a break from studying by making my own makeshift Beauty & the Beast rose in a glass. Or in my case, dying flower in a cut-up 2 liter plastic bottle. ;)

Repeat.

Have you ever had this feeling when you keep keep keep keep keep reiterating words, & then you keep staring staring staring staring staring staring at the word & you kinda forget what it means as it loses context? Then you wonder why the hell this word is even a word in the first place because words are nothing more than sounds to which we attach a symbolic meaning. Or is it just me?

Tattoo.

I'm contemplating of getting a tattoo. On my left shoulder. Problem is it'll show when I wear my shoulder-revealing wedding dress & I can't be having that. Of course, I need to first dupe some unfortunate guy into marrying me by making him think that I am just oh-so AMAZING, AWESOME, & any other cool word that starts with an "A"... What was my point again? Tattoo. Yes. I'm contemplating of getting a tattoo.

Predicament.

Keys: Inside the car. Me: Outside of the car. Doors: Locked. Awesomeee.

"Last night I was alone in my room... & I smelled a fart that wasn't mine."

- Osaka (Azumanga Daioh)

The Titanic is syncing.

Just renamed my ipod "The Titanic" so when I plug it in, iTune says that "The Titanic is syncing".

Angus, Thongs & Perfect Snogging.

Just finished watching "Angus, Thongs & Perfect Snogging" with the sisters on Nickelodeon. I feel like such a total pedo for thinking that the two main guys in the movie were extremely hot. I think I'm in the wrong country. I need to move to England!

Fucks & ducks.

Seriously, phone! Stop autocorrecting all my "fucks" into "ducks". You're making all my strong worded texts look harmless & adorable.

I had a dream...

I dream of a world where chickens can cross roads without having their motives questioned...

It's been a while since I've been able to sit down & write. & by write, I don't mean pulling my thoughts out of my head & then haphazardly splashing them across the screen. I mean, WRITE. & I don't know how to define that. I'm craving inspiration. I find them in music, photographs, movies, art, sunsets, cities, beaches &people but never in myself. & that's what scares me.

180.

She turned her can'ts into cans & her dreams into plans.

Crush.

So I have a slight crush on a pharmaceutical rep. He's probably in his early 40's but he's very classy. He reminds of me of a black & white film actor. :)

Pretty & awesome.

Me: I'm pretty awesome.
Him: No you're not.
Me: Yeah, you're right. I'm pretty AND awesome. :)

Hulu.

A commercial almost as long as the clip I wanted to watch - really, Hulu? Really?

Being Human, Episode 5 Season 2

Mitchell: Yeah, but do you love her?
George: I care a great deal for her.
Mitchell: "I care a great deal for you", yeah, they should put that in a Valentines.

"Damn girl. Yo toes taste like meatloaf!" lmfao hahahaha.

I ate my whole body weight of food today. I wish I was just overly exaggerating, but sadly this is not the case. I seriously gorged myself. :( Totally going to exercise at home after work. Video work outs, here I come!

Yard sale.

You took me “as is” even though I’m like a yard sale -- all mismatched kitchen junk, mystery cords, old blankets, & games with missing pieces.

Scottish Highland Games & Festival

So I was trying to find out what events were going on when I saw an event titled "Scottish Highland Games & Festival" next month. When I asked my sister if she would want to go to this event she gave me this response:

"Hmm, let me see. WOULD I like to see old, wrinkly men in skirts with the wind blowing while they're playing games?"

So, I'm taking that as a no?

Text messasge of the day:

"Dang gurl that's foul you hella shiesty forreal nukka chicka."

X-small.

Found my dress at UrbanOutfitters. They didn't have it in a small so I ended up buying it in an extra small.

Oh boy....

Where can I find size 5 heels? Curse my small feet!!!

Computer geek.

So, I got a virus on my laptop last night. Freakin A, right!? Well, being the awesome (& apparently modest) person that I am, I was able to fix my laptop! I feel like a billion bucks & oh-so-smart! Is this how computer geeks feel!? Cause it feels GOOOODDD! :D