You’ve finally given me a word that describes the entirety of my lifetime so far: “spectator”. I watch people. I watch people succeed. I watch their finished products. I watch the resounding success from these products. I watch the world build into an empire filled with resounding successes from finished products from very successful people.
Then, I stop watching. I start thinking. It’s the thinking that has destroyed me for so long. I think of how I won’t be able to be that person, that person who succeeds, whose finished products arouse resounding success & help inspire an empire.
Then, I stop thinking. I start watching again. & the more I watch, the more thinking invades. I can’t escape thinking anymore. All I ask – the deities of the human lifetime – is to arrive at some point, some blip in the radar, some dot on the timeline, my timeline, where watching & thinking finally cease forever. So that I may start doing.
